Thursday, February 16, 2006

I Should've Known...

My Blog is kind of like a journal and here comes the entry of the year. Last night, around 10:00 pm, Gabe called off our wedding. We've been arguing about a couple of things lately and last night I tried to approach him with some possible solutions to our problems. Instead of considering them or brainstorming with me, he decided it would be best if we just didn't get married. He said he still loves me and thinks I'm his soul mate but we shouldn't get married right now. I know I'm being narrowminded but I don't think those two concepts can even exist in the same sentence. The bottom line is Gabe is a liar. He probably never intended to marry me in the first place and is finally willing to admit it. He was just tricking me all along. He, along with many others before him, fanagled me into participating unwittingly in this new fun sport that men seem to find so exciting. It's called, "How long can I lead this poor girl on before she finds out that I never had any intention of following through on any of my promises?" I lasted a good year in this round. Not a record for me but still, a good long run. It was a sufficient amount of time for my whole life plan to be put through the wringer again. I don't understand why all of the women I know have made good decisions and grown into strong people who accomplish the things they want to accomplish. everyone I know is finding the right person and settling down and having babies and I'm just standing here in the same place I was 10 years ago, wondering about one of the great mysteries of life. Everyone can figure this thing out but me. I'm tired of starting over and I refuse to do it again. It looks like I'm gonna be the one who never gets married so, if any of you need a babysitter, don't call me. It's too depressing. The worst part is I think that sunny Southern California will be permanantly tainted from my point of view.

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