Monday, April 17, 2006

Working On It

I had a great Easter weekend. it was so fun having everyone in my family in the same house for a whole weekend. We didn't do anything exciting. There was a lot of Super Mario Bros. 3 being played. We had another birthday party for Jaxon, this time a Cali version. We went bowling, went to church, played Phase 10, cooed over the baby, ate too much and stayed up way too late. By Sunday night, even the dogs were worn out. It was sooo nice. Gabe came up for the weekend which was comforting and strange. He's been on a big "get back together" kick lately and I don't know what to make of it. He seems sincere and he really has been putting in a lot of effort (he even went to church) but I just can't shake the feeling that the other shoe is about to drop... again. We've had a million heart to hearts and decided that we'll work on it and see how it goes. I really want things to work out but the problem is in order for that to happen, I'm going to have to put all of my energy into this again. Right now I just feel completely unable to do that and I don't know what would make me ready to dive back in again. The whole thing is compounded by the fact that my family is pretty unsupportive at this point because they don't want to see me get hurt. My whole life just feels like a big puzzle that I have to really concentrate on to put back together and I can't really seem to focus on it right now. I guess I'll just give it time and hope everything comes around. Whatever happens, it was really nice to have all the chickens in one nest for a few days and feel completely at home. I don't get to feel that way too often because all the people I love are so spread out and I really enjoyed it. I'll be sad when my sister has to leave this week but you know what they say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." I think that is particularly true in the case of families.

2 comments:

  1. Wow. Good luck with the relationship thing. If he means to change, he just will - and won't make a big deal of it.

    Someone once told me that a leopard can't change his spots - but if it's important, he can stop being a leopard.

    Anyway, hope it works out however you think it's best to work out.

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  2. so what is going on with gabe?? what are you thinking?

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