Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Respect For My Elder

This place is called Cascade Springs and it's on the back side of Mt. Timpanogos. I use to go there all the time when I lived there and I love it. It is a natural fresh water spring that just bubbles spontaneously out of the side of the rocks way up in the mountains. It trickles down the mountainside and gains speed. It makes these beautifule pools on the way and by the time it reaches the bottom, it's a full fledged roaring river. It's so beautiful. When she was a lot younger, I use to take my dad's bull dog, Murphy there. We had so much fun. We would just hike around on the trails up there and every once in a while she'd feel brave and just leap right off a bridge into the water. The rangers would give me a dirty look and I'd have to apolagize. She's gotten so old now. She can barely walk and if anyone in the family starts to laugh she starts to bark because she just wants everyone to be quiet so she can sleep. She's getting a little grumpy but I don't mind because I remember when she use to be so full of energy. I know we'll all miss our sweet little bull dog when she goes.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Human Interest

I received an email about this web site from a coworker so I checked it out. The address is It is the web site for an animal rescue facility in Kanab, UT. They take in animals from all around the country - some of which are adopted but most live out their lives there. They have all sorts of animals from dogs and cats to sheep and horses. There is a great little story about each animal and about the special projects they do. There are a lot of articles about animals rescued from hurricane Katrina and the efforts they're making to reunite them with their owners. They're so sweet! There's one story about how they found 1,000 bunnies in someone's back yard in Nevada and now they're trying to care for them all. Great stuff! If any of you are looking to adopt a pet, you should check this place out.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Jimmy's Right

Jimmy Eat World is one of my favorite bands. One of the lines in their songs about lost love is, "Should've never started. Ain't that the way it always ends?" There is definitely a profound truth in that. When long, meaningful relationships end, it's always so painful. In the beginning/middle everyone's so gung ho and you think stupid things like, "Even if we break up tomorrow, I'm so glad I get to be here today." You just feel like no price is too high to have the priveledge of experiencing that kind of elated happiness. Hind sight is 20/20. Now, looking back over the past year it seems like it's not really worth it. The more fond memories I have and the happier I remember being, the more sad I feel at the end and the more difficult it is to get over this. It's like feeling completely at home and secure with someone only makes it more shocking when the whole thing falls apart. If I had spent the last year miserable, the end would be a lot easier but I was so HAPPY. It doesn't make sense and I'm having a really hard time processing all this. Whoever coined the phrase, "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all" was obviously never in love. They were just enjoying some mild form of infatuation that passed as quickly as it began. If they were really in love, they would never have been foolish enough to have said a stupid thing like that. I only want to have had this experience with Gabe if I get to keep him. Since he's just gonna turn out to be the jerk who left me behind, I wish he would have never said he loved me.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Homeward Bound

This is a public announcement. I will be in Utah from March 30 at 10:00 pm until April 4 at 6:00 am. I will be in town because it's my nephew, Jaxon's birthday. He will be two years old and I'm so excited to see him. As you can tell from the picture above, he is soooo cute! I will be staying at my sister's house so anyone who wants to hang out can call me or meet me out there. I'm excited to see everyone! Let's all go up to the mountains and make a big bond fire and BBQ. You guys know I love that! Jen, you're in charge of coordinating that so I hope you read this blog.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Running in Circles

I'm so frustrated right now. I'm so sad and I don't know which path to take to make myself feel better. Gabe's still making decisions that aren't in our best interest but all the while he's telling me that he really wants to get back together. That doesn't make any sense and I'm so confused. I don't know if I should wait for him to get it together or if I should just move on with my life. I know it's only been a few days but I like to be able to make decisions in my life and then move forward and right now it feels like I'm unable to make any decisions. I'm so tired of that. I don't even know what I want to do because all of my opinions are based on information from outside influences and if I can't get an honest view of what's going on in my life then I can't decide which direction to take it in. I feel so scatterbrained and I can't concentrate on anything. I didn't feel like working today so instead I traced my hand and the hands of all the people in my office. They're very accomodating in my time of crisis. I guess it's just my creative side trying to break free. This picture features the fruits of my labors.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Cancer-Free Conehead

Lexi had to have surgery last Thursday because she had a couple of moles that I was worried about and wanted removed. One was on her face and the other was on her shoulder. The vet was very nice and she got through the whole thing just fine. I picked her up and $499 later I took my little conehead home. She hates that thing! She keeps running into walls and she can't drink out of the toilet. When she wants to go outside, she can only get half way through the dog door and then she just sits there and cries until I come and get her. It's so pathetic! Even my dad is being nice to her because she looks so sad. We got the lab results back yesterday and they said the one on her shoulder was just a mole and the one on her face was a benign tumor. So, no cancer. I'm glad because boxers are prone to cancer and they ususally get it around 7 or 8 and she's 7 this year. I know she's frustrated with me right now but it's a small price to pay for my piece of mind. If anything happened to the dog right now I think I would just die.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The End of the End

I had to break up with Gabe on Sunday night. He has been acting crazy lately and we just had the straw that broke the camel's back. He went to Las Vegas for the weekend to help his friend fix his car and he was suppose to be home on Saturday night. We had plans on Sunday to do some really important, relationship saving activity and he didn't come back until Sunday night and he didn't even call. When he got home, I just basically told him that he doesn't seem to have room in his life for a girlfriend and I'm tired of being on the back burner. He said he feels like he's having a hard time prioritizing but he'll work on it because he wants to be with me. I just said we'll see. He's been calling me a couple of times a day to say hi but I have no idea what's gonna happen. I think this is probably the end for us and I feel really sad. I can't sleep at night and I have a headache all the time. I'm so tired of starting over. Thom, if you're reading this, it's time for you to come home.