Monday, February 20, 2012

English 101

Right: The opposite of left.
Right: The opposite of wrong.
Right: An inalienable circumstance to which one is entitled by divine assignment.
Wright: A common last name.
Write: Something one does with pen and paper.
Write: Something one does with a computer and creativity.
Rite: A ceremony signifying progression with religious or societal significance.

I have a firm command of the English language. The question is: how do I explain this to a three-year-old?

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

You Might Be a Mormon in San Diego If:

  • You live in San Diego but your cell phone has and 801 area code.
  • You root for BYU sports even though you never attended school there.
  • You've likened surfing to the gospel in a talk in church.
  • Your new pair of "church shoes" is a $30 pair of flip-flops.
  • You're too tired to go to school because you attended 5 am seminary.
  • You've been to a ward beach party.
  • You go to Utah for Christmas.
  • You're totally stoked when you find a store that sells modest bathing suits.
  • Your acquaintances have asked you how many wives your dad has.
  • Your acquaintances have asked you if you go to church in the castle in La Jolla.
  • Your friends accuse you of being the one who sent the missionaries to their house.