Saturday, November 17, 2012

Living With the Savages



Lately, I've had a sneaking suspicion that the creatures I live with are not human children, but wild animals, or at least a combination of the two.  As conditions have worsened, I've begun gathering evidence to support this theory.  Below are examples of the behavior I've witnessed:


  • Eating Habits:  My children refuse to use eating utensils and, instead use their hands or lap their food up right from their plates.  The little one seems to enjoy purposefully spreading her food through her hair, perhaps to retain the scent.

  • Methods of Communication:  Although my oldest child is fluent in English, and the younger one is equipped with all the basics of the language, they often choose to communicate using a series of grunts, growls, howls and hisses instead.  A large portion of my day is spent trying to decipher these intonations in order to meet their needs.  Their verbal skills seem to break down in direct proportion to the amount of time I require them to spend indoors.  A rainy day will reduce them to a crying-only system of language. 

  • Physical Prowess:  My children seem to possess a strength beyond what one would expect from a young child.  They are able to take down baby gates, move furniture, hurl toys, and run from me, their mother, with a force that I have not before witnessed.  If I try to contain them to prevent such behavior, they escape almost immediately and continue their exploits with a doubling of purpose.  The little one has even been known to bite in these instances.

  • Sleeping Habits:  Although the older one has seemed to outgrow this phenomenon, both of my children have gone through a period where their sleep cycles do not follow any recognizable biorhythm.  They awake in the middle of the night with no know provocation, even if they have been asleep only a short time.  They fall asleep in strange, unfamiliar surroundings, such as shopping carts, in the swings at the park, or in their highchair at a restaurant.  When they do sleep, they toss and turn and babble on about random subjects.
To date, none of these behaviors have caused any real harm to any of the members of our family (with the exception of the occasional biting) and is not too much of a cause for concern.  My husband and I choose, instead, to view these strange actions with wonder, amusement, and even pride.  Our older child has begun to show some signs of departing from her savage nature in favor of civility, so we know these days are fleeting.  We are extensively documenting our experience though photographs and video for our children to share with their spouses when their own children begin to exhibit these behaviors.



Thursday, November 08, 2012

Caution Reader- This Post is Yucky!



I have had a reoccurring dream for several years that I find very disturbing.  I dream that I get an itch on the palm of my hand and, when I go to scratch it, I find a bump there.  Out of the bump, comes a worm.  It comes out in different ways: Sometimes I can see little antennae sticking out and, when I pull on them, the worm comes out.  Sometimes I squeeze the bump and the worm comes out.  Sometimes, the worms are vividly fluorescent colored, almost like a cartoon.  Sometimes, like last night, the worms are brown and very realistic.

A couple of things are the same every time I have this dream.  The worms are always coming out of my hands.   At the beginning of the dream, I don't feel too alarmed about the worms and am just relieved to get them out.  Then, as more and more continue to show up, I begin to panic, which is usually what wakes me up.  I hate having this dream!  I can never go back to sleep after it and usually end up getting up and cleaning something around the house.

I looked up the meaning of this dream on some dream interpretation sites.  The closest match I could find was "worms under the skin," which I saw on several sources.  They all say pretty much the same thing:  Dreaming about worms under your skin means there is someone in your life upsetting you or that you don't trust.  The person upsetting you can even be yourself, i.e. you have a poor self-image or low self esteem.  It can also represent a high level of stress or unidentified health issues.

Now, I'm a confident person and I like myself pretty well, so I don't think it's the poor self image thing.  Although my life isn't perfect,  I'm generally happy and have a laid back attitude, so I don't think it's the stress.  There are a few things bugging me, but that's just part of life and I really don't think it's getting to me that much.  There's not anyone close to me that I find untrustworthy or that I'm secretly upset with.  So, what's the problem?

I'm normally not an overanalyzer (is that even a word?) and I don't dwell on negative things too much.  The reason why I'm putting so much effort into figuring out this dream is that I don't think I can stand to have it again!