Sunday, February 03, 2013

Body Image Issues


 I don't know what my problem is, but the generally squishy state of my body has really been getting to me lately.  Logically, I know I'm lucky.  I have a strong, capable body.  I am able to exercise every day, as well as complete all the various tasks that keep my life running.  I sleep well at night, I rise refreshed in the morning (most of the time), and I spend my days happy and free from any signs of depression or anxiety.  I look at these pictures of myself and I recognize that I'm just an average sized woman- not very skinny but not very fat.  But, when I look in the mirror, I am more often than not dissatisfied.  I see blemishes, bulges and gray hair.  I know this is just part of the female condition, but I sincerely wish to eliminate it.

The thing that's really bothering me is that this negative self image is not my natural disposition.  Historically I'm a confident, pretty girl who doesn't spend too much time worrying about her appearance.  It's only since I had a couple babies that my self image has hit a rough spot.  My belly is no longer flat, and probably never will be.  The acne that sprung up when I was pregnant with my first baby has taken up permanent residence on my face.  These are annoyances, but they didn't really get to me until after I had my second baby.  I had some health problems after her that left my heart and lungs a little slower than they use to be, and I think this may be the root of my problem.  I can't really do things the same way I use to do them.  I can't work out REALLY hard, I can't stay up very late, and I can't chat with my girlfriends and jog at the same time.  I can do so, so many other things, but for some reason, I'm stuck on the things I can't do.  I know, ridiculous, right?

I'd like to say I'm making a commitment right now to stop worrying about these silly things, right here and now, but how does one do that?  How do I just forget about something that's been picking at me for months?  I thought that taking good care of myself (eating right and exercising) would be the answer, but not so much.  I think this is a problem I need to solve in my brain, not in my body, but how?  I know what the standard answers are here:  Pray.  Show more gratitude.  Don't worry.  I hear you, and I'm on it.  I guess slow but steady will win the race?

Sorry for the serious post.  I'll be funny next week.  :)



3 comments:

  1. ahw. Tie you are beautiful, in so many ways. I've pretty much never had a flat stomach so I'm not sure I can relate to losing one. But. I've been having body issues lately for sure. They aren't fun at all. But. I love you. and. you really are very lovely. If only you could see yourself as I see you.

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  2. I recommend reading women food and God by geneen Roth. Changed my mental condition on how I viewed myself my body and the relationship between the two forever.

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  3. my suggestion is, just be your self, don't think about others perception about you...:)

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